my lover is a very high iq person (140) and he’s so awesome and yea has a lot of knowlegde about a lot of things, but recently i took an iq test and i got 85, it sucks, i told him that i hope that does not affect any aspect of our relationship!! and i’m not going to sugar code it but honestly i think that difference does cause a bit of trouble in our relationship because i am aware that my low iq may cause problems or it could make him feel annoyed/bothered!! what can i do to improve that?? i love him so much and i don’t want him to feel like i don’t understand him, sometiems i don’t a lot but, i always understand the general idea of the stuff he likes and i’m always seeking out more knowledge from him and the wider internet. thank you!!!
edit: i’ve always thought i was 100 or 150+ iq because i am interested in open source software, linux, foss, gnu, the fediverse, and reading, etc!! programming too
Did you take a real IQ test administered by a qualified human, or an internet IQ test?
Real IQ tests have shaky research behind them. Internet IQ tests are worse than garbage.
I am bothered by the relationship dynamic you describe. Look into signs of an abusive relationship.
Know that even if you are not smart, you still have worth. You can have and be successful at many jobs and can find a partner that will treat you with respect.
Iq means very little, other than being am idicator of how good you are at iq tests.
Probably doen’t apply to everyone, but i feel like intelligent people experience a lot of stress asociated with performing to surrounding expectations. They tend to be less stressed when hanging around people they don’t need to perform for.
In your case, ask him about it. He might feel perfectly content around you. You might even be a calming presence.
I’d say me and my partner are equals. But I imagine I would have no Issue If they were less intellectually inclined. Or more for that matter.
IQ is a stupid pattern recognition measurement made by a eugenicist and has been used to justify racism ever since. Don’t take it too seriously, it does not measure intelligence.
Here is a video
It’s strange that you’re posting a 2nd time about IQ, especially after getting so much feedback the 1st time and responding to almost none of it. This feels like trolling
i’m sorry, it was a shock for me at first, i should just learn about how that does not matter. thank you!! i’m not trolling or anything
Never heard of method trolling
I didn’t find such post on their account. Are you sure you’re not mixing it up with someone else?
I know somebody else here (Lemmy) posted some low-IQ related question(s).
I am not going dox them here though.I think they’re referring to this post that OP made 3 days ago: i took an iq test and it was nice and i took my time doing it but the answer was 86, is that bad??
There’s currently 38 comments in that thread, and only 2 of them are from OP, at the time of me writing this comment here.
It’s their fifth most recent post, from three days ago. I found it by just looking at the community and searching IQ. It was on page 2 for me.
Also, what do you even mean doxxing them? Nobody said anything about posting their real name and address.
Also, what do you even mean doxxing them?
I meant the other, different user, by username.
Mentioning a user isn’t doxxing, they literally picked that username to use publicly. Doxxing is leaking personally identifying information, like their real name, home address, phone number, workplace, etc.
Maybe, but it would be like pointing out “Hey, this user has low IQ too”.
Don’t know what else to call that, unnecessarily adding someone to such information elsewhere than originally mentioned.
I guess? You could instead link the post, that doesn’t ping anyone and offers contextual information to other commenters since it was directly asked. If OP wanted to keep it private so that no one would know, they probably wouldn’t have posted it on the public internet.
But it’s kind of quaint/endearing that you wanted to protect their “privacy,” though. Not a bad attitude at all, it’s just not common practice since people don’t tend to accidentally make posts about things they want to keep secret.
Bhank you for not doxin me here pal, I would be devastated if odders knew about my low iQ
Hi! A former gifted child here. It’s not a big deal of you two find a way to communicate. We are all different even when not basing our qualities upon our intellect. Emotions aren’t logical and a relationship is possible just as much as it wouldn’t be possible with two equally smart people not being able to be real to one another. True love knows no bounds.
IQ is bullshit. If you love each other you love each other.
thank you a lot
Just be yourself and let him decide if he loves you. Don’t decide for him.
IQ is not a good measurement for intelligence.
You might be interested in a podcast by Jamie Loftus titled My Year in MENSA.
IQ is stupid. My wife and I are polar opposites. She likes to just kind of relax while I’m obsessed with learning new things. We get along fine. She’s definitely not into linux.
Also, IQ tests are a learnable skill. You can become surprisingly better at them without actually increasing your intelligence, by becoming familiar with the exercises.
A smart non-native English speaker would likely score even lower the first time because many old tests tie reasoning to English proficiency and western culture.
Last but not least, being intelligent is different from being smart. I’ve seen intelligent people get left behind by regular people because they took unwise decisions and wasted their potential.
Date away, worrying about this is like worrying about dating someone stronger or taller than you. It’s doesn’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things.
I got some crazy genius IQ score when I was a kid because I was very good at taking tests and read a lot, good with language. Just happened to be good at what they were testing.
If you like to do programming, create things, are curious and interested in things, you ARE NOT STUPID. Not everyone’s intelligence runs to language or something tested by those tests. They are not really tests of potential, and the only reason my mom got us tested, the only reason I got two of my kids tested, was to get us into the better classes in school because they will only do it as an accommodation for a learning difference in.the public schools here. My other kids went to schools that promoted them based on their performance in class, which makes so much more sense.
Now - my friend had a legit genius boyfriend and he was a raging asshole, I think because he had nobody who thought like him, he was alienated. But the problem was that he was an asshole, not that he was a genius. So as long as your partner is nice and you can talk to each other, there is no problem, don’t borrow trouble and don’t think of yourself as stupid.
There are so many different kinds of intelligence, and pattern recognition is but only one. I’m sure that you’re intelligent in ways he can never aspire to be. That’s the thing about humans: alone, we’re pretty useless, but together, we contribute our different skills to make societies of wonder and magnificence.
The only thing IQ measures accurately is how well you answer questions on IQ tests. For anything else, it’s a vague approximation at best.
Talk to your guy. Just knowing that you’re working to understand him will make him feel loved.
I hate to admit it but seeing your post about IQ and then say, “I’m not going to sugar code it” had me laughing. People grow & change, and each person has their own talents. I am on the higher end of IQ but at the same time I struggle a lot with friendships. I have a hard time doing tasks that I see as menial like laundry, dishes, etc. I also struggle with a lot of artistic or creative tasks. My kids’ mom even though we’re not together anymore, she definitely would have been on the lower end. However, in many ways she’s managed to do a lot more than me. She’s able to make friends easier. She is able to conform to society and just gets things done that I struggle with. She also is very creative when it comes to projects & decorating. IQ is just a number, unless you’re under like 55. Often relationships are about finding people that balance you out too. I could never date someone that is a lot like me. I get on my own nerves.
Forget IQ for a moment, for all the good reasons that other people have given you.
One of you will know more than the other or learn more easily than the other. That’s unavoidable. Even if the gap seems small, there might be key moments where the gap causes conflict. This is going to happen, whether it’s you or them who “is ahead”.
The question is this: how do you handle it?
If you treat each other with contempt, that’s a problem. That could be you assuming that they are always going to look down or you or them assuming that you’re not trying to “be better”. There are many ways for this kind do contempt to show itself in your relationship. Each of you has the responsibility to not think that way. Each of you has the responsibility for accepting and loving the other.
If you can’t learn to do that, then your relationship is doomed to fail. If you can learn to do that, then you stand a chance.
You both can choose.
Some things about my partner used to irritate me and I learned to accept them for the things they’ve tried to change but just can’t. That acceptance is key.
Good luck and peace.
Kindness, compassion, sense of humor, open mind, love of learning, and the self confidence to not let yourself be trampled are the qualities a partner will be attracted to.
Both of my sons are very smart and they’ve both dated women who were likely above and below them. The ones who stick around the longest are the ones who have the personality to match theirs- and to stand up to them when they’re being jerky.
I love that my husband is smart, but i hate that he can be difficult to work with on projects because he’s not used to being wrong.
