Beyond the polite “Hey, how’s it going”. Close enough to hang out at each other’s apartment, maybe even ask them to water your plants or feed your pet while you’re away.
No, everyone in my building is loud and obnoxious. A lot of vandals here and the kind of people I don’t trust to even leave my laundry in the laundry room.
I live in a small building with few units. My neighbors and I get along great, although they’re much more eager to socialize than I am. I don’t really mind, but still.
Do you find people are less social as the size of the building increases?
I’ve only lived in one apartment my whole life, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Less need to interact means less interaction.
ive tried but they don’t seem particularly interested
Typically, not friends. I’ll greet them and make small talk.
I walk my dog multiple times a day at similar hours and other neighbors do as well. So I’ll run into the same people regularly. We’ll talk a little bit. Sometimes I’ll talk a few minutes, sometimes it’s just a greeting.
I have asked on two occasions in 3 years for a neighbor to take out the dog. So generally no, but it has happened
The dog owners are a big reason I thought about this more. Like you said, it’s usually at similar hours everyday so I’ll run into a few pretty regularly. They usually seem like they’re in a rush to get their walk done so I don’t want to bog them down with small talk, and at the same time I don’t know if I’m just being awkward by not engaging with them more.
my tip is just to greet people loudly with a smile. say good morning, talk about weather, whatever
i’ve found that most people will do as you say. just try and look away and go about their day. some people can even look mean with a face that is not inviting at all.
but if you say hi in a friendly way one day, they look at you surprised a mutter something back.
the next time you see them, they have a smile on their face and they greet you more warmly.
really this is the thing about human connection. someone has to bridge that gap. and it’s not hard to do
This is true. It’s because people are generally on auto pilot and don’t want to risk awkward conversations. But if you can make the initial contact a positive one, they will warm up quickly. Unless it’s a girl and she thinks you are trying to hit on her, then she may starting to take another route.
I always try to make friends with my neighbours, with varying results. Most of my neighbours I’ve met have been nice, I think most people are. Some people are just shy though. And some are just miserable assholes.
When I first moved in to my apartment, I became friends with one neighbor because I could hear him coughing through the wall and asked to buy some weed off him one day. He would occasionally ask me to take care of his dog when he was out of town. He has since moved and a nice old lady moved in. On the other side of my apartment is a special needs adult with care workers constantly coming and going, so not so much making friends anymore.
in my building, owner use informal tu and first name but when talking with renter they use vous and last name.
To be fair owner see each others at owner’s association meeting and have seen each other in the building for years while many renter move within 2-3 years
And for the fun fact, my owner association ordered a security audit, and the consultant recommended organizing a building/neighbour party/barbecue over installing security camera. As people knowing each other care for each other
Varies person by person. Some I’m not particularly interested in, some seem satisfied with a head nod. I don’t force it.
I do have neighbors I ask to water plants. Usually, I ask a neighbor if I can pay their 8-12 year old kid to do it. Lots of parents like the opportunity for their preteens to own some responsibility. I’m also among the neighbors that goes out after a snow to clear off walkways and cars for the elderly neighbors; that contact tells me which other neighbors are into the local community.
I’ve been in one super tight knit neighborhood where we did actual community things. Like I setup a little outdoor movie night in the common lawn and hosted a popcorn melodrama. I had the projector, audio, and movie. A couple other parents brought tons of popcorn. Everyone brought chairs and blankets to sit on. The kiddos had a riot eating it and throwing it at the villain on screen. That condo neighborhood is the gold standard I hold in my mind and compare all others I’ve lived in to.
Nope. Neighbors in apartments change far too frequently for various reasons - life changes, rent hikes, property issues, etc. It very rarely seems worth the time to invest in a potential acquaintanceship. The only people that ever seem to be eager to be friends in my experiences end up being the elderly and the younger folks anyway.
It also makes it far more awkward when you have to eventually have a neighborly conversation and ask them to not leave their trash in the hallway or keep their volume down or something else minor.
I’ve noticed it’s mostly the elderly who try to engage in conversations more, I usually chalk it up to them being more lonely and having a less busy schedule
I think that’s a part of it. They’re also usually the ones who are likely to end up being longer-term residents so they’re more invested.
I don’t mind chatting, but usually when a I’m outside my apartment I’m in the process of doing something. Personally I hate getting trapped in small talk when I’m just trying to spend 60 seconds to take my trash out or walk to my car.
My wife and I hung out with a couple just a few times. They were cool, but it’s hard enough to find time when my wife and I are both off and awake; lining that up with two other working adults (plus they have a kid) was impossible to do regularly.
I can get along okay with pretty much anybody, but most people I’ve met have proven to be a little too incurious or even hateful for me to want to go out of my way to spend time with. With every passing year, I value my time more and more (as I’m sure almost everybody must) so it’s hard to justify setting time aside for building friendships with people if I don’t naturally want to hang out with them. That having been said, I work rotating 12 hour shifts, so I’m not off every night and weekend like a lot of people are, and even if I am off I may be swinging my sleep schedule to prepare for not being off. A lot of people just can’t understand that yes, I may be off that day, but I didn’t get home until after 0500 and I need to sleep at some point. Or yes I’m off that day, but I need to be in bed by 2000 at the absolute latest because I need to get up at 0230 for work the next day.
I would recommend making a friend or two with neighbors if your work schedule isn’t as shitty as mine is lol. Especially if your neighbors suck less than a lot of mine have. Just don’t force a friendship where there doesn’t need to be one just so you can feel better about asking them to water your plants while you’re away for the weekend. If they’re cool, they’ll do it for you just knowing that they can ask you to return the favor down the road.
i didn’t talk much to the people at my last place but i’m going to make an effort now that i’ve moved. seems like a good safety net to have in case something happens.
The little old lady next to me says hello and sometimes let’s me know if there’s a package waiting for me.
The people on the other side I don’t know. They don’t seem especially friendly or unfriendly, but I’m happy to live and let live.
