• Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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    7 days ago

    “traveling” yikes.

    That is one way to say, you think wealth is attractive.

    I have traveled quite a bit and I like it a lot, but it is no hobby. For it to be a hobby, I would have to have a lot more money.

    Once or even twice a year, is hardly a hobby.

    • frickineh@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      It could also just be women thinking, “I’d like to visit _____ when I’m able, I want my partner to go with me.” Working in a passport office, I’ve met a shocking number of men who have never left the US (or sometimes even the state) by choice. Then their wife or girlfriend wants to go to Mexico or something, and they come in talking about how they’re only doing it for her and they’d never travel if it was up to them.

      Anyway, I’d consider traveling one of my hobbies even though I can’t afford to do it often - plenty of time is spent planning and looking at things to do, so it goes beyond just the few days of the trip.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        7 days ago

        I think so too.

        I’ve met people who are extremely happy living in their small town life doing small town things, then get angry or confused why anybody would want to go someplace “exotic”.

        • Aceticon@lemmy.world
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          Maybe “travelling as a hobby” as a women’s preference with regards to men is at about it being a man’s openness and ability to deal with totally different environments, disposable income, time availability and possibly foreign language skills.

      • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        I’m one of those people. I’ve never flown, rarely leave my state. My wife wants to travel, but we haven’t yet. I, personally, have no interest in it. Just like sports and most popular movie franchises. I just have no feelings about it at all. It seems like a huge hassle.

        • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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          7 days ago

          Yea same. New places, new people, and trying to figure out where I’m going stress me the fuck out. A vacation is just a whole week of that. No thanks. I want to use my time off to relax. If someone else wants to plan the whole thing and I just follow them around it’s fine but I don’t want to deal with that shit myself. It’s not enjoyable to me at all.

        • frickineh@lemmy.world
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          7 days ago

          I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with that, it’s just not going to be compatible with everyone. I would never date anyone who didn’t prioritize travel at least a little, but that’s definitely not universal.

        • saigot@lemmy.ca
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          7 days ago

          It’s unclear what countries this poll includes, having minimum paid leave is the law in most of the world. There’s also quite a few careers that involve forced time off.

        • IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world
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          7 days ago

          If you live at home or are technically homeless it doesn’t really matter. If you can save up a bit and have a charismatic personality you can go far, especially if you’re willing to pick up shitty temporary jobs in places where you go. I had a friend who would do this all the time and periodically return home to work at a reliable job while living with a friend, save up more, then fly off to somewhere for a few months.

            • frickineh@lemmy.world
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              7 days ago

              “Fun” fact, this is actually why my mom has no interest in camping as an adult. Her family was homeless a lot when she was a kid and her mom disguised it as a fun extended camping trip. The kids bought it for the most part, because the family really did camp for fun, and they were used to fishing for dinner and things, but she said as she got older, she realized things like the month long trip in November were because they lost their housing.

              • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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                6 days ago

                My wife hates camping. She needs electricity, a toilet, wifi, etc.

                I never thought about why until your comment. My wife moved houses every few months as a kid. Maybe 10-15 times total before before college.

      • bluewing@lemm.ee
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        For the vast majority of you, long travel is required to get to somewhere you can backpack. And the the gear and foodstuffs is expensive also. And judging by the damages to the environment that some inconsiderate people leave these days, I’m not sure that you should be allowed to. (I’m getting sick and tired of picking up garbage and hauling it out of the forest I live in).

        • NielsBohron@lemmy.world
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          7 days ago

          “Backpacking” can also mean couch surfing and staying in hostels or on park benches. In the early 2000’s, it was a really popular way to travel across Europe (at least among rich white college kids)

          • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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            6 days ago

            Is hostels still a thing for young people?

            I wonder if AirBnB destroyed that industry. I saw a “hostel” in my city but it was charging $70 a night. When I was growing up, hostels were like $20-30 a night, cheaper than a motel 6.

            • NielsBohron@lemmy.world
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              6 days ago

              Afaik, they’re still around, but inflation and popularity has caused the prices to increase a fair bit.

      • The_v@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Or be in a religious cult like Mormons. Of course they will send you to a foreign country and confiscate your passport until your 1.5-2 years are over.

        • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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          Do they really confiscate your passport?!

          Holy shit thats what Dubai employers do to keep their servants enslaved!

    • merc@sh.itjust.works
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      5 days ago

      A lot of these hobbies are wealth-adjacent.

      Playing an instrument: a good instrument isn’t cheap, and music lessons can be pretty expensive.

      Woodworking requires a lot of fairly expensive tools, and a space to do it. You can’t really have woodworking as a hobby if you live in a small studio apartment. You basically need a house, either one with a basement, a shed or a garage.

      Gardening: requires a garden, something you’re unlikely to have unless you have your own house.

      Photography: I don’t know anybody who is into photography who hasn’t sunk a lot of money into the hobby. There’s the cameras, the lenses, and even the software these days.

      Astronomy: see above.

      Hiking: not expensive on its own, but in North America it means being able to drive to a wilderness spot outside the city, so you pretty much require your own car.

      Archery and blacksmithing: again, requires a specialized space

      Now, I know that there are cheap options for a lot of these. A musician could be someone drumming on an upside-down pail. Someone who only has access to a hotplate could still experiment with food. Woodworking could be just whittling sticks found in the park. Gardening could just be tending to a small houseplant. But, are these the version of the hobbies the women are picturing when they’re imagining a potential mate doing the activity? Probably not.

      Meanwhile, a lot of the stuff at the bottom of the list are very cheap hobbies. Like being influenced by the “Manosphere” just requires access to social media, same with porn and “arguing online”.

      Honestly, it looks to me like if you sorted the list by “dollars per hour someone invested in that hobby is likely to spend” you’d get many of the same things at the top and many of the same ones at the bottom. Some of the few exceptions are writing and reading, which can be pretty cheap hobbies, but are still apparently very attractive.

      • Asafum@feddit.nl
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        5 days ago

        For astronomy (really astrophotography, which is considered even more expensive) I guess it depends on what you consider expensive. For $500 and with 3 free software products I’m able to produce stuff like this:

        A rather large telescope (8" dobsonian reflector) I have as well was “only” $500. So it can be a hobby that you don’t need to spend all that much on, but again that depends on what we consider expensive. $500 is definitely not cheap but I’m just a schmuck in a factory and I could save for that.

        • merc@sh.itjust.works
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          4 days ago

          I’m sure you know other people spending thousands on their gear. Anyhow, many of these hobbies can be done relatively cheaply, but I imagine the woman picturing the man doing it as someone who wasn’t going the ultra-cheap route.

          Nice picture btw. How far do you have to travel to get somewhere where there’s a low enough level of light pollution that you can take a picture like that?

          • Asafum@feddit.nl
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            4 days ago

            Thanks! I’m lucky enough to live in a bortle 4 zone so that was taken right outside my house, it’s just processed a bit to pull out the colors and darken the background.

            • merc@sh.itjust.works
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              3 days ago

              Cool stuff, I live in a city. Not a huge city, but big enough that I only see the major stars at night. It would probably take me at least 45 minutes of driving to get somewhere dark enough to take a picture like yours (assuming I had all the equipment and skill to take that kind of picture at all).

    • Piemanding@sh.itjust.works
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      I remember listening to some pop song and realizing that it was basically “You love me 'cause I’m rich”. Do you like trashing hotel rooms, going places you have never been? I don’t remember what song it was or the exact lyrics, but I just hated the guy then and there.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        7 days ago

        Depends.

        If they flaunt it with their fancy cars and designer clothes, I think they’re gross.

        If they look like a hobo but are highly educated about finances… Aaaaay bay bee how you doin? Wink at me, you economist with a 401K who ties her hair up because she hasn’t showered in days because she was doing data science. Spit in my mouth, you engineer with a diverse stock portfolio who wears the same hoodie you wore in college because clothes shopping is hard and you want to focus on optimizing your CI pipelines. Choke me, you tenured professor with a mature retirement fund who dedicated their life building physics engines to teach grad students.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          I wasn’t saying it’s like that for everyone but rather in a generalized way being wealthy seems to be a factor in making someone seem more attractive.

      • eatCasserole@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        There was this study where they asked a theater full of women to rate the attractiveness of men, based on a photo and a profession. Then they changed all the professions (but kept the same photos) and did it again.

        The same picture with a higher-paying job was rated significantly higher.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          6 days ago

          Wealth and social status and what those can provide are just attractive features to people.

    • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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      7 days ago

      I love being in other countries and meeting new people and learning about their culture. But I fucking haaaaate traveling.

    • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      I have shit ton of these, man I am the sexiest man alive /s.

      These all great traits, I remember to include them if I ever have to go back out into the dating world. Please I hope that never happens.

  • zante@slrpnk.net
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    7 days ago

    Woodworking 94%. Right.

    Try ordering a new lathe after you’re married.

    • xkbx@startrek.website
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      That’s because the deal has already been sealed. They typically wanna keep you off the market, not increase your “resale” value. Unless you’re into that kinda thing. Like, cucking or sharing kinda kinks, not human trafficking. Human trafficking isn’t sexy. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. Like, as a fantasy, not as a real thing. Real human trafficking isn’t sexy. Unless you’re into that kinda thing. Like, as in humans stuck in traffic or transforming into cars and being stuck in traffic, not as being sold as a commodity. Unless you’re into that kind of thing.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      I have a friend who’s very attracted to her husband’s woodworking. Mind you he’s a world class artisan for equipment for a shared hobby of theirs, but still, she’s very supportive of his lathe purchases.

    • riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Hey if I were married to you I would support your hobbies and interests. I’d want you to be happy.

      Lathes are expensive though, so if there expense were to come from our shared account we would need to have a discussion first.

  • ChicoSuave@lemmy.world
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    Blacksmithing is 88% Was this list made by a metal shop kid?

    “Oh babe, I love your soda lime mix. You’re not like those other brittle iron bitches out there”

    • Maalus@lemmy.world
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      Being handy is attractive. Getting a nice unique present is cool. And blacksmiths / woodworkers are the ones that do that kind of stuff.

        • Skua@kbin.earth
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          To be fair my limited experience with blacksmithing has given me the distinct impression that I would have magnificent arms if I did it regularly

          • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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            7 days ago

            While there’s some outliers especially thanks to power hammers, a dedicated blacksmith looks a lot closer to a strongman competitor than mr universe.

          • merc@sh.itjust.works
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            If you did it in the olde fashioneded way with a manual hammer, manually stoking the forge with a bellows, etc., then sure. But AFAIK modern blacksmithing is pretty similar to modern carpentry or welding or any other hobby where the machines do most of the work. It’s still a somewhat active hobby, compared to doing something with a computer. But, I don’t think a modern blacksmith is going to get huge arms from doing it.

        • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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          I only know one guy who is into blacksmithing and - being a nerd myself, I saw this with kindness - but this dude is a super nerd. He’s also one of the scrawniest dudes I know. I’ve heard him tell women that he’s into blacksmithing before and it definitely does not have the desired effect that this chart would imply.

          You always have to consider Rule #1 when taking these things into account.

        • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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          I’ve met a TON of blacksmiths and they usually just look like normal guys but slightly more buff, often overweight. The machinery does most of the work.

          • Takumidesh@lemmy.world
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            7 days ago

            Yea, I would wonder why hobby engineering isn’t on the list, or something like ‘maker’ I think 3d printing as a stand alone is more of a support, it would be like, instead of woodworking, the hobby is ‘sawing’ it’s part of it, but engineering is what the hobby is actually.

            • Maalus@lemmy.world
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              7 days ago

              Because a blacksmith, woodworker or a metalworker are all makers. Ultimately what matters is it is a highly skilled thing that triggers imagination and creates something out of “nothing”. Differentiating between those as hobbies is a matter of how often the hobby is chosen / represented online. There are more woodworkers than metalworkers. Less blacksmiths, so you think of “blacksmith” less when asked what’s “hot”.

    • Sonor@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      I can not fathom how blacksmithing is LOWER on the list than reading. “The dude with the hammer looks nice, but that other one over there is sitting on a sofa for HOURS on end”

      • SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        Maybe because reading is a sign of being intelligent/cultured in people’s mind, and people on average value that slightly more than physical fitness

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        Reading demonstrates culturing, education, pursuit of knowledge, and willingness for good conversation. It’s also a hobby that can be practiced together (my wife and I have even devised a technique for how to best read books together)

        Blacksmithing is one of the few hobbies that a guy probably can’t teach his girlfriend because women usually use a different technique to make up for strength differences. It’s hot for sure, but it’s hot in a “I’m going to watch you but it’s expensive in time and money, and I may wind up stuck selling at ren faires forever” way as opposed to a “even when we’re old we’ll still be discussing literature” way

        • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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          I’m a woman, I can definitely learn to smith, and have done it a few times (I do reenactment, there’s basically guaranteed to be a few blacksmithsin every friend group). I definitely couldn’t do it for a living, but as an occasional hobby, sure.

          And I haven’t met a guy into smithing who didn’t also like a fit partner, so hey.

          It’s hot for sure,

          Hehe

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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            Oh I’m not disagreeing that we can learn. I’d just heard we tend to use a different technique than men, but I’ve never tried and none of my friends that are into sca are smiths so I was never taught otherwise.

            Smithing is a hobby I’d love to take up if I had a lot of time, money, and trust from my wife that I won’t hurt myself

            • anomnom@sh.itjust.works
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              6 days ago

              I so metal working as a hobby. You’ll hurt yourself, but it’s usually burns and using the the hammers as a thumb detector. Fingernails grow back though usually. It’s the angle grinders you gotta respect.

              Tell her that scars are cool and go for it!

              Just wear eye and ear protection, and get a good leather apron and welding gloves.

        • KokusnussRitter@discuss.tchncs.de
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          Blacksmithing is one of the few hobbies that a guy probably can’t teach his girlfriend because women usually use a different technique to make up for strength differences.

          Me, a woman who tried blacksmithing before: Don’t use spring steel or other metals that are hard to manipulate/hammer into shape when starting off. Don’t start with a sword, start with bending and twisting a nail into… whatever. If they like the hobby they’ll stick to it and the muscle will build over time. And if it doesn’t: power tools.

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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            Good to know, I’m a woman who’d apparently been misinformed but it is one of those things I’ve always wanted to try, but it’s not an ADHD “pick up every hobby” friendly one

            • KokusnussRitter@discuss.tchncs.de
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              but it’s not an ADHD “pick up every hobby” friendly one

              That’s true. I was in luck and there was a blacksmith in town who opens his workshop to kids on occasion or travels to job conventions and brought his tools with him. Maybe there are comparable activities/ offers near you, which I can highly recommend. Not only will you not have to worry about tools and materials, most importantly there will be a “teacher” around.

              If you find something and decide to check it out, have fun! :)

  • Lorindól@sopuli.xyz
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    I had 10/15 of these when I was single, and I was single for a very long time. That is how I had the time to learn all these hobbies/skills.

  • coherent_domain@infosec.pub
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    Uh, there is a typo, the second probably should say “functional languages”. We all know how people are attracted to map, filter, and reduce.

  • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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    7 days ago

    Judging by what I see on dating sites, fishing is near the bottom of the list. So many women’s profiles say something like “I don’t want to see a picture of you holding a fish”

  • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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    Got reading and foreign languages, woohoo!

    most attractive for women

    *groans* So much for my gay ass…

              • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
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                Voyager recently added user tags (allows you to label other users) but the app also doesn’t appear to use the display name option available in Lemmy (or at least no one has it enabled from the screenshots I’ve seen posted), so it just shows the username you use to log in, which doesn’t have special characters.

                My display name is my username, but spelled using emojis in case you don’t see it that way, either.

                • aeharding@vger.social
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                  Oh, I see. Voyager doesn’t show that because display names are confusing for mentions, can be used to impersonate, and distracting. It might be an option to enable in the future, off by default.

                  Edit:

                  Claim

                  To clarify how I really feel, here’s my hot take: display_name is a really awful feature and should be removed from Lemmy.

                  Why?

                  They are dangerous by default because the very concept implies that clients should render display_name instead of the username, if it exists. Which is unwise: Apps have to choose between replacing (bad for impersonation/UX/distraction reasons) and showing both (which just looks duplicative most of the time).

                  What makes this feature even more frustrating is that people are now using display names for their username + flairs of actually important things, like gender identities. (for example, display_name="Alex (he/his)")

                  It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation for Lemmy clients. Some people are using display_name for important info like gender identities, and yet display_name is so incredibly easy to impersonate people and otherwise abuse.

                  Solution?

                  What is the solution? I think Lemmy should ditch display_name and replace with flair (or something like this). The general idea is that flair is NOT a replacement for your username, but rather it will be displayed alongside it.

                  Maybe even make flair per-community like Reddit. I think that was a much better design than what Lemmy currently has.

    • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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      I read, write, cook, paint, swim, travel, and hike, and last gardening. I should be rolling in it. But my wife finds me sexy so I got that going for me.

      • riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        7 days ago

        …11% of women find men who watch pornography attractive?

        12% of women find men who argue online attractive?

        23% of women are into cryptobros??

        • zea@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          I think this is from a survey, so keep in mind that its people reading and answering questions. Some number of people always interpret it a different way or misread.

        • AA5B@lemmy.world
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          A lot of cryptobros claim to have gotten rich, or seem likely to be flashing their money around. If someone is throwing money around, why not be somewhere you can catch some

        • drathvedro@lemm.ee
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          Watch porn, or make porn? I know a few friends who would find latter attractive. Not so much the former.

            • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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              These lists make the most sense if you just imagine the stereotype the hobby exudes. Woodworkers are rugged, work with their hands, have a bushy beard and smell like fresh cut wood all the time, meanwhile someone who’s hobby is watching porn is overweight, hasn’t showered in a week and will have unrealistic expectations of you while struggling to perform in bed himself. But someone who makes porn is buff, squeaky clean and knows his way around a women’s body.

      • Twoafros@lemmy.world
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        How can reading be no 1 most attractive and comic books are on the unattractive side of the list?

        • RBWells@lemmy.world
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          I think it’s collecting vs reading. I’m a lady and read comics, well graphic novels, I don’t buy the individual issues. Half my bookshelf is graphic novels trade paperbacks. But I do not collect, trade, sell, I don’t think of them like that, they are for reading and enjoying.

          Collecting I can see as an unattractive trait because it’s too close to hoarding.

          • Edgarallenpwn@midwest.social
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            7 days ago

            Whew that was a close one. I started reading comics again a few years ago and only have been getting TPB or HCs. Who has space for boxes of singles?

        • MBM@lemmings.world
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          7 days ago

          If you’re genuine: reading brings to mind books, and people might see books as intellectual but comics as geeky/childish

        • A_cook_not_a_chef@lemmy.world
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          7 days ago

          Manosphere is (to my understanding) Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan, etc. Basically content that promotes men acting like Neanderthals. Why any percentage of women found that attractive is beyond my comprehension.

        • merc@sh.itjust.works
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          5 days ago

          Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson. Basically online misogyny. People who blame women for everything, or think that there’s such a thing as an “alpha” man, or who use the word “cuck”. Basically incels, supposed “men’s rights activists”, date rapists and date rapists in training, etc.

      • Fosheze@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Ok, but most of those shouldn’t even be considered hobbies. Like poker can be a hobby but if your hobby is just “gambling” then you probably have an issue. I guess your hobby could be porn if you’re in the kink scene and into making porn or something, but while watching porn is ok, if you consider watching porn a hobby then you may have an issue.

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
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        5 days ago

        I like that Debating is rated at 30.?% but there’s a separate category for “Arguing Online”.

        I guess that being a Master Debater who comments on people’s posts “Debate Me Bro!” doesn’t count for the slightly more preferred category?

      • Sylvartas@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Wtf, I know how obnoxious stoners can be, but have these ladies even met a cigar snob ? They’re worse, and it smells worse too !

    • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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      7 days ago

      To be fair, I enjoy both these things but I don’t know that I would classify them as hobbies, more as something I do to wind down. I can see video games going into hobby or even profession territory but THC is just a medicine for me. A hobby is something that needs to challenge me, in which I learn things and get better at it.

      • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
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        7 days ago

        I make mods for video games. It actually pays out too, I make a few hundred a year. It’s basically computer parts money lol.

        Does that count as a hobby? I’m afraid to ask, women are pretty judgy about this stuff.