• 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍@midwest.social
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    4 months ago

    I have never, ever, understood the appeal of virginity. Who prefers someone who is uncomfortable, awkward, and doesn’t have any experience?

    This has always baffled me. This is one reason why I think sex workers should hold a high status in society: they provide an valuable service in training the uninitiated and unskilled. It’s like taking tennis lessons, and all your future partners should be grateful for their lessons.

    • gibmiser@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Virgins don’t know that you suck at sex. It’s an insecurity thing. Most people don’t realize it.

      • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        And then there’s me. Who has been with one woman, who was actually appalled by the whole attachment thing, but controlled so much of my life that I became permanently awkward, uncomfortable AND stuck with super low self esteem.

        I don’t know if I suck at sex, or just suck in general. If I survive this divorce I’ll take that win right now.

        • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          For whatever reason, we make sex weird. Communicate with your future partners and it will be a lot more enjoyable for both of you.

          You got this.

    • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      Disclaimer: I am not holding or promoting the following.

      But the meme is “if you’re gonna eat a sandwich, you’d like it better if someone hadn’t fucked it first”

      I think the core of the meme revolves around possession. Seeing the “sandwich” as something to attain, and possess, and consume. Indeed, I would not like someone to fuck my lunch. But a person has an independent life where their value is certainly not graded in such a way. ( Or any way, in this context)

      If you are obsessed with taking something pure, and only having your influence on it, for all time, then the virgin thing matters.

    • MindTraveller@lemmy.ca
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      4 months ago

      I want to stay a virgin because I don’t like sex. If I wasn’t a virgin, it would mean something very bad had happened to me.

      • Skyrkazm@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Worst case scenario, you lose your chance at wizardry at the age of 30. Keep it at all costs friend.

        The magic missile and fireballs are well worth it. Especially the spell “mend buttcrack”.

      • That’s not how I meant it.

        There’s a cultural value in virginity in girls. It’s pretty common across cultures: for marriage, virgin women are more desirable than non-virgins. It’s biased; the virginity only increases value for girls, and it probably stems from men wanting to be sure than any prodigy are actually theirs. Women can be nearly 100% sure a kid they have is theirs (not quite 100%, as there’s a brief period when a channeling swap could conceivably be made), but the men can never be certain. The best odds you have is to get yourself a virgin. So female virginity has been valued through history (by men), and I think this is where the fetish of having sex with virgins comes from.

        That’s what I’m taking about. I’ve never understood the appeal of “being a girl’s/boy’s first.”