• notabot@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Of course they’re not blowing up the hamster! That would be unethical, immoral, probably illegal, very hard to clean up, and, most importantly, lasers don’t blow things up, they vapourise them.

    They vapourise the hamsters.

    • Trailblazing Braille Taser@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      5 months ago

      I don’t know where you’re getting your information from. “Hamsters” is actually a misleading term because there is only one hamster on Earth and he is immortal. He travels through time and overlaps his own timeline frequently, creating the illusion of multiple hamsters. As he ages, he grows very slowly and the patterns on his fur change, which is why he looks different sometimes. You should probably say a few hail hamsters now because he doesn’t like when people make jokes about his demise — and he can bite.

      • notabot@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        I, for one, welcome our immortal, time-travelling, hamster overlord, but please stop giving away their secrets. The ‘vapourisation’ is the cover they need to make the particularly tricky jumps through time and space. It’s not needed every time, hence why it’s not more common, just when they need to arrive at a very specific point that’s already crowded with other manifestations of the ur-hamster.