And ummm this is not a cry for emergency help. It’s a pondering. I do wonder if many others can relate.
“Awfully bleak” to current me is very little contact with others, difficulty with daily tasks, repetitive cycle of days feeling unable to function, inability to concentrate, financial desperation. Those things are all bleak. And yes all that negatively affects my self esteem. In earlier days what sidelined me was self hatred and nihilistic thoughts. Now it’s chronic pain.
I used to fall into cycles like that, and I deal with chronic pain which causes me a decent amount of anxiety. I also went to therapy with the specific goal of learning how not to fall into spirals of anxiety anymore. It has been very helpful for me.
I also found it helpful to tell someone I trusted to ask me when they notice I’m isolating if I need someone to talk to about it so I won’t have to do the work of reaching out. This was helpful for both of us because they had been feeling like there was nothing they could do to help me if I didn’t talk with them about it, and it may be a personal thing they shouldn’t bring up, and I was secretly hoping someone would care enough to ask.
Maybe when you’re feeling well enough to do so, asking someone who loves you to reach out to you when you need it would be a good choice for you.
Inability to concentrate and financial desperation are my middle names :(
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I can definitely relate, I’m diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder and this has been a daily experience for me for over a year at this point. So yeah, you are most definitely not alone.
When I am extremely anxious, I have a strong tendancy to isolate myself until I feel so terrible that I need to reach out to people so that I can at least express some of my worries.
The high anxiety brings all of the things you are feeling for me as well.
That’s dumb because I get out of those slumps by reaching out to people, but when I am anxious, I isolate myself.
I don’t know where you are, but therapy helped me diminish those tendancies a lot, if that’s an option for you.
Otherwise, sleep and less social media helps me a lot when I feel terrible.
The news are always highly negative and it affects me. And sleep is essential to function well. When I’m trying to get more sleep, I reduce my screen time and any stimulating activities after 7-8PM. That’s boring, but that helps me a lot to sleep.
Yeah, can relate. Usually when it’s not bleak i’ll act like nothing happened, like acting i’m not even slightly depressed, and ohh boy i do know how to pretend. But when it come to the point that i need to reach out, i feels like it’s very hard to accurately tell people why i felt that way, and all the reply is either irrelevant to my issue or it will simply turn the issue back to me.
Lately it’s harder for me to reach out even when i felt very bleak to the point of breaking down. I find it hard to trust anyone anymore
