No that was a song by David Jowie.

Mutt

Oh no! Anyway…

Statistician: 1+1=sqrt(2)

“Oh, thanks! What I’d like is some extremely hot sauce in a bottle labelled ‘ketchup’”.

Civilised countries like the UK and other European countries. Technically it’s not free because it’s paid for by taxation, but it’s free at the point of use: if I go and see a doctor, I don’t get billed, but I do pay 9% National Insurance tax.

Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn’t make any difference to them and it’d be a lot more fun for the rest of us.

True story: “The meeting is at 1500 EDT”. “Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I’ll be an hour late. Are you sure it’s 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?” “Yes, definitely 1500 EDT”. /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.

I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.

I’d be interested to know how I can pay my electricity bill with my free healthcare. Also I need to go to the supermarket today; how do I convert free healthcare into a trolleyful of food?

Nott wen yoo meyk uip yorue one spelink.

Simple. We let them get away with it. Compare:

“Your PC is out of date” “Don’t be stupid, it’s only 2 years old and still works fine” with

“Your phone is out of date” “OK I’ll buy a new one”.

There needs to be a lot more of Answer A to Statement B.

Maybe it’s a Samsung phone and a “Made in USA” sticker, shipped in as components and stuck together in the USA, thus fulfilling both “designed” and “made” in USA even though there are some foreign-made components (2). Then onshore those components bit by bit until the process is complete.

Technically that’s 100% buffering.

Oops! Thank you :-)

I once got rid of ants by leaving a small pile of sugar out for them.

I like to think the ants that found it took it back to the nest and said “hey guys look what we found!” then got “don’t be so stupid! humans never do that! It’s obviously a trap, don’t ever go back there”

Also see: Kitten Kong

There’s also the Escher Magritte picture of a (smoking) pipe, captioned “Ceci n’est pas une pipe”.

Referring to himself in the plural? Classic monarch gaffe.