I made a friend over the last few weeks and he’s pretty cool and has a really nice beach house on the coast and me and my gf hang out there a lot because we both really like it. The old man is a cool person and reminds me of my grandpa but he acts weird sometimes but I think this is just how he is and I think he’s lonely so he sees a child he never had in me which is weird but I don’t really have a good connection with my family anymore so I understand those feelings.

He wanted to show me his toy collection so we went to a basement where he had lots of toy UFO and alien toys from the movies. He looked at me for my approval and I said “very nice” but then called me out saying “you’re a disbeliever that’s okay there’s still time for you young bloods” and I felt weird with what he called me especially the use of the word “young bloods” but maybe he meant like new blood. I don’t believe in UFO being aliens so I was like brooo what the hell?

He spoke for about an hour telling me how the universe is inside of an orb and there are multiple orbs including parallel universes that are just like ours. The orbs are of alien origin and we live in “the petri globe” and everything that goes on inside the orbs are part of alien research. The aliens use the things we create on earth in order to incorporate it into their own society, with a higher emphasis on art because art is relative to a lived experience which makes it unique unlike universal principles of scientific variety. He then said aliens are making humans stupid to prevent a “catastrophe” aliens experience time differently to we do because time is a construct that has been created for us and so they know the future and something like humans do something to the universe that fucks it up for these aliens so they imprisoned us in these orbs before we invent the tools we need to be capable of ruining their system.

I’m like “broooo what the hell?” But I didn’t say that I was just saying it in my mind. It sounded cool but it was mostly just creative writing from his end. I asked “so how do you know and who told you” and then he was like “I’m part of a group that has found evidence of these truths” ummm 😧. It was starting to make sense now why one of his favorite movies had Tom Cruise in because he’s an alien Scientologist so I asked old man if he was Scientology and he got kinda angry and shouted “don’t be preposterous!” I’m like bro chill WTH… but he was kinda cool about it and said that Scientology are “dumb American frauds and hacks that only want to sell books and by extension their packages which cost thousands or millions of dollars to complete.” He’s stopped talking about it and then said he wanted to make me Cubano sandwich.

I ate the cubano sandwich