lately i’ve noticed i don’t have the energy to go to uni, bc everytime i do i have to go through 30 minutes of traffic made up of literal idiots who are just unable to not make the road more dangerous (not putting on turning lights when switching lanes, not looking at their rear view mirrors, ecc…) and i can’t really avoid it since my uni is in the dead center of the city. Then when I get there i just can’t follow the lectures bc i get distracted constantly and then traffic again but even worse bc i leave at rush hour (my classes are from 4PM to 6PM). I’m really tired of having to go there bc my classes are very late in the day and they are all at the same time, and when I get home I’m just totally beat. The worst part is, i still live with my parents and they expect me to go every single time and if i don’t it’s gonna be a screamfest about how worthless i am and sometimes even threatening to stop funding my studies. These are the same people that basically accosted my autism and adhd to “being just lazy/just having fun breaking their balls” even when I’m going through a meltdown. I don’t have the means to move out, I’m scared of how I’d handle a job (since I’m not diagnosed by the state i don’t have access to accomodations) and can’t even sustain myself with a part time job in this country, bc if i had to do 40 hours a week with uni I’d simply go nuts. Over the last few months I’ve been feeling trapped without any motivation to keep going to uni and i have no one to turn to, no one that’ll make my parents understand that I’m having a hard time and that I need space. Sometimes i ask myself why does it have to be so hard.
At some point I started skipping classes and just read the textbook + lecture slides to study and did about as well (defonitely worse than if id have gone but better than if I hadnt studied) - prob not the most achievable but you might be able to negotiate something witb professors in terms of getting lecture slides or chapters of the textbook and hang out in a library or cafe to reduce the amount of travel