The problem that I have with the way Apple does this has nothing whatsoever to do with me. It’s their device, it is not possible for me to care any less about it.
No, the problem I have is that it becomes a severe bullying / exclusion tactic among kids. Now, kids will always find something to bully other kids about, but this one seems to hurt a lot because of the source of the ire and the inability to do anything about it (short of purchasing an Apple device).
My eldest was excluded from group chats with friends because they “ruined” the quality of pictures and videos by being in the group chat. These are friends mind you, not the sort of bullies the rest of us might’ve had. It’s devastating to kids when their friends exclude them like this. What do you do? You can’t complain about the technology not mattering, you can’t reason with it, you can’t say: “it gets better”.
Kids these days have a very different relationship to technology. That relationship can seem weird or “wrong” to folks who remember a time before these ubiquitous devices. Crap patterns like this creating artificial walled gardens are not “novel” or “creative” ways to increase sales.
Hell, adults and “friends” of mine really seem to care that I have an android. They constantly bring it up as if they think bullying another adult into buying their specific product will somehow work or maybe they think that it bothers me or something. I could not care less. Start a new chat without me and the other android users? Cool, go ahead. Spoiler: they won’t.
Or they have and haven’t told you, as I’ve experienced multiple times now (as an adult in my thirties, no less). It’s why I fell out of my bar trivia group, they slowly forgot to send us Android users (aka my partner and I) texts separately, so we just drifted out of that circle.
It’s comical how petty so many adults get about the bubbles too, and absolutely refuse to consider using anything else. Luckily my partner was on the Pixel train like me before we met, so it’s not an issue there, but suggest Signal, Telegram, or hell, even Facebook Messenger (which they all have as well), and you just get befuddlement in response. Even my mother, who is in her fifties and is a department director at her job, gets perpetual shit from her coworkers re: the staff group chats that just can’t go into Slack for whatever reason, as she’s the lone Android user in that whole bunch. None of these people even grew up with cellphones of any type, and yet they’re just as petty about messaging as any socially-obsessed teen.
Oh well, no skin off my back, and if anything this petty behavior from a subset of iOS users is basically an anti-advertisement to me. The last time I had an iPhone, I deliberately disabled iMessage from the get go to head off this mess (and at the time, turning it off when switching away from iOS was a nightmare too).
Not to make light of your kids situation, but sending pics/videos over mms is horrible they aren’t being metaphorical when they say it ruins the chats. Imagine compressing a video to < 1MB and you would get something unseeable. Now i would recommned they all switch to snapchat, its very popular and wont mess with the group chat no matter the device used :)
Oh, I totally get it. It’s super dumb, but being a kid is really hard these days; kind of ridiculously so.
Long story short: they got iPhones. Do I like it? No. Did it make me feel bad to pay into that dark pattern? Yeah. Did I do it anyway? Yup.
But at the end of the day, I had a choice between doing what I felt was right vs. doing what would make their lives just a little easier psychologically.
I did explain how stupid it was that Apple was doing this, how much it was complete and utter nonsense, and what dark patterns were. I can’t force their friends to do different things, but I can nudge their behavior. I taught them about Signal and they’ve shown their friends. It hasn’t caught on like wildfire of course, but, it’s there and I learned that at least some kids today understand a lot more about privacy and security than I’d given them credit for.
The problem that I have with the way Apple does this has nothing whatsoever to do with me. It’s their device, it is not possible for me to care any less about it.
No, the problem I have is that it becomes a severe bullying / exclusion tactic among kids. Now, kids will always find something to bully other kids about, but this one seems to hurt a lot because of the source of the ire and the inability to do anything about it (short of purchasing an Apple device).
My eldest was excluded from group chats with friends because they “ruined” the quality of pictures and videos by being in the group chat. These are friends mind you, not the sort of bullies the rest of us might’ve had. It’s devastating to kids when their friends exclude them like this. What do you do? You can’t complain about the technology not mattering, you can’t reason with it, you can’t say: “it gets better”.
Kids these days have a very different relationship to technology. That relationship can seem weird or “wrong” to folks who remember a time before these ubiquitous devices. Crap patterns like this creating artificial walled gardens are not “novel” or “creative” ways to increase sales.
Hell, adults and “friends” of mine really seem to care that I have an android. They constantly bring it up as if they think bullying another adult into buying their specific product will somehow work or maybe they think that it bothers me or something. I could not care less. Start a new chat without me and the other android users? Cool, go ahead. Spoiler: they won’t.
Or they have and haven’t told you, as I’ve experienced multiple times now (as an adult in my thirties, no less). It’s why I fell out of my bar trivia group, they slowly forgot to send us Android users (aka my partner and I) texts separately, so we just drifted out of that circle.
It’s comical how petty so many adults get about the bubbles too, and absolutely refuse to consider using anything else. Luckily my partner was on the Pixel train like me before we met, so it’s not an issue there, but suggest Signal, Telegram, or hell, even Facebook Messenger (which they all have as well), and you just get befuddlement in response. Even my mother, who is in her fifties and is a department director at her job, gets perpetual shit from her coworkers re: the staff group chats that just can’t go into Slack for whatever reason, as she’s the lone Android user in that whole bunch. None of these people even grew up with cellphones of any type, and yet they’re just as petty about messaging as any socially-obsessed teen.
Oh well, no skin off my back, and if anything this petty behavior from a subset of iOS users is basically an anti-advertisement to me. The last time I had an iPhone, I deliberately disabled iMessage from the get go to head off this mess (and at the time, turning it off when switching away from iOS was a nightmare too).
Not to make light of your kids situation, but sending pics/videos over mms is horrible they aren’t being metaphorical when they say it ruins the chats. Imagine compressing a video to < 1MB and you would get something unseeable. Now i would recommned they all switch to snapchat, its very popular and wont mess with the group chat no matter the device used :)
Oh, I totally get it. It’s super dumb, but being a kid is really hard these days; kind of ridiculously so.
Long story short: they got iPhones. Do I like it? No. Did it make me feel bad to pay into that dark pattern? Yeah. Did I do it anyway? Yup.
But at the end of the day, I had a choice between doing what I felt was right vs. doing what would make their lives just a little easier psychologically.
I did explain how stupid it was that Apple was doing this, how much it was complete and utter nonsense, and what dark patterns were. I can’t force their friends to do different things, but I can nudge their behavior. I taught them about Signal and they’ve shown their friends. It hasn’t caught on like wildfire of course, but, it’s there and I learned that at least some kids today understand a lot more about privacy and security than I’d given them credit for.