Men tend to trend more irresponsible, women more neurotic, in my experience. There’s plenty of exceptions, but on the whole that’s what I’ve seen. Neither is good, both can collapse a relationship. In straight relationships this can result in women taking on everything. Even where she’s overcome (or not originally had) any neuroticism, a sufficiently irresponsible man can still put the problem on her shoulders.
What I think you’re omitting is that this can happen in reverse.

Even when a man overcomes (or didn’t originally have) any irresponsibility, a sufficiently neurotic woman can still put all the problems on him. He has to pull the tasks away from her because she thinks only she can do it ‘right’. Only then can he pull his weight. But he then must also do the dance of convincing his partner that he’s doing a good job, or she’ll just feel compelled to do the work again herself.

Of course most relationships are somewhere between these extremes. And some even see the roles reversed. People are, of course, extremely diverse. But this is a common pattern I’ve seen.