that really just sounds like victim blaming to me, by that logic couples that have sex often should be miserable too but the precise opposite seems to be the case
Well I’m the victim of my own behaviour and I’m definitely not blaming anyone else but myself. Also, there’s a difference between doing something in healthy amounts and being obsessed about it. I don’t know about you but personally I feel like wasting 20+ hours into porn and masturbation in a week doesn’t seem healthy. It my not be the sole cause for ones problems but it’s definitely not helping.
How does that work, physiologically? We’re talking dopamine in the brain. If what that user said was true and “overstimulation like that drains your dopamine reserves (or something),” then another person being there wouldn’t make a difference.
I mean, it’s because they have a misunderstanding on how brain chemistry works, obviously. Like, it can store it, but it doesn’t get used up from doing things that feel good. That’s what makes dopamine. And while loneliness is a problem in the general population, it’s more likely that longer lasting gratification from sex isn’t from the physical act or even just the physical act with another person, but the joy gained from the relationship as a whole. Pretending that there’s chemically something different happening in the brain just because there is physically another person there is ridiculous. I’ve had plenty of unfulfilling sex with people I didn’t like that didn’t make me happy/content afterwards like masturbating would have.
that really just sounds like victim blaming to me, by that logic couples that have sex often should be miserable too but the precise opposite seems to be the case
Well I’m the victim of my own behaviour and I’m definitely not blaming anyone else but myself. Also, there’s a difference between doing something in healthy amounts and being obsessed about it. I don’t know about you but personally I feel like wasting 20+ hours into porn and masturbation in a week doesn’t seem healthy. It my not be the sole cause for ones problems but it’s definitely not helping.
Maybe it’s because you share the experience with a SO. Doing it alone can bring momentary joy and relief, but in the long run, it can’t replace sex.
How does that work, physiologically? We’re talking dopamine in the brain. If what that user said was true and “overstimulation like that drains your dopamine reserves (or something),” then another person being there wouldn’t make a difference.
I mean, it’s because they have a misunderstanding on how brain chemistry works, obviously. Like, it can store it, but it doesn’t get used up from doing things that feel good. That’s what makes dopamine. And while loneliness is a problem in the general population, it’s more likely that longer lasting gratification from sex isn’t from the physical act or even just the physical act with another person, but the joy gained from the relationship as a whole. Pretending that there’s chemically something different happening in the brain just because there is physically another person there is ridiculous. I’ve had plenty of unfulfilling sex with people I didn’t like that didn’t make me happy/content afterwards like masturbating would have.
It’s reward without effort and it’s dose that makes the poison.
Is smoking weed bad? What about smoking weed all day every day?