It is real!
https://buddycarter.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=15398
Rep. Earl L. “Buddy” Carter (R-GA) released the following statement today after introducing a bill authorizing President Trump to acquire Greenland and renaming it Red, White, and Blueland:
“America is back and will soon be bigger than ever with the addition of Red, White, and Blueland. President Trump has correctly identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority, and we will proudly welcome its people to join the freest nation to ever exist when our Negotiator-in-Chief inks this monumental deal.”
Red + Blue = Purple + White = … Lilac?
Lilacland?
Red, White, and Blueland
Does this mean France, and Russia, and every other country with those colors in their flags also have claims to that land?
Cool. Just renamed my apartment “The REAL United States of America”. Every room is now a new state. The guest bathroom is obviously “New Ohio”. There. See how much that lowered egg prices?
In other news, Republicans vote to turn Congress into giant MAGA circle jerk.
It’s come (cum?) true: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ErgXG--UcAE0pGw?format=jpg&name=small
The geopolitical fanfiction writes itself. Renaming Greenland like some corporate rebrand desperate to distract from melting assets – national security theater now starring spray-painted glaciers. The cognitive contortions needed to frame territorial karaoke as “strategic expansion” would earn Olympic gold in mental gymnastics.
They’ve upgraded from labeling dissenters “anti-American” to legislating cartographic fanfic. Six-month bureaucratic deadlines for rewriting maps? Peak legislative productivity achieved while infrastructure crumbles and healthcare implodes. At least the Sharpie industry thrives.
Denmark’s diplomatic eye-roll echoes through the performative patriotism. Soft power evolves into PowerPoint jingoism – why address rising seas when you can rename them? The real climate action? Mandating all future hurricanes adopt surnames from Founding Fathers. Priorities, people.
This is what our elected representatives believe is important. This is what they are wasting our tax dollars on. Burn it all down.
Oh my fucking God. Holy sweet fucking Lord in heaven. Jesus fucking Christ. I’m already done.
Can I stick a fork in you?
And here we are; all thinking that we are in the dumbest timeline. Turns out, we are all right about that.
Let’s see how dumb this timeline will get.
Me too… and I’m not even a Yank.
It fucking pisses me off so much seeing the thick, orange, cunt-in-chief on our news day after fucking day talking absolute bollocks on the news…
Fuck us all forever.
Mmhmm, and while youre having fun with this stunt Trump is dismantling what little safety net you had left for personal gain. Its time to stop the outrage machine and either do something with your rage or accept your new circumstances
Dammit!
I said this as a joke nearly a month ago on Discord.
all i get from this is that Donald Trump is in your discord server and stole your idea
I know exactly who it is.
Actually, I’m just going to accuse the one person I know that will be the most upset about me calling him out as Trump.
Well, we’re definitely gonna need to see this now.
Right, but this is the reality that runs on jokes, so you can’t do that!
I willed this into existence.
Careful that you don’t wake the dark ones sleeping in the abyss.
A new British island?
Removed by mod
Removed indeed!
As an autistic person, I wholeheartedly agree.
WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING EGG PRICES YOU GERIATRIC FUCK?!?!
I’m sorry, eggs come from female chickens, and any talk of that particular F-word is strictly forbidden.
Fork this bullshut
“He isn’t paying attention to the jingly keys.”
“Find something more-outrageous to say. We’ll get there.”
My partner and I moved into an eco village and are going to buy chickens this summer. Blew my mind to learn a live chicken only costs $75
I get them from the farm lady down the street for like twelve bucks, she even let’s me pick out the one I want, who sold you a single chicken for $75? Shame on them.
I neglected to mention in the comment that the chickens I’m looking at are of the Ayam Cemani breed, which are pure black, including their organs. They’re pretty coveted, so I was surprised that even those are very cheap!
I can buy chicks from the tractor supply a half mile from my house for $4.99 a piece. They have multiple breeds there too. Been contemplating that investment for awhile…
You should go for it, raising chickens is surprisingly easy and they are a hoot to watch frolicking around your yard.
However, fuck Tractor Supply for rolling back their DEI initiatives Search for local hatcheries to buy your chicks. Last spring, I bought ten pre-sexed female chicks (which, admittedly comes with the ethical concerns of what they do with the males) of random “designer” breeds for only $95 including shipping.
Everyone in my family is for it, as long as I’m the one that takes care of their end of life… that has been why I haven’t gone through with it yet lol
It is so hard when you lose one of the flock, and foxes, weasels, raccoons, whatever predators are in your area can smell them for miles and will snatch one eventually. But, for all the sobbing beside a pile of feathers I have done, I still wholeheartedly recommend that you go for it!
What kinds of designers? We had some designer chickens, they were delightful.
Right now we have three orpingtons, two brahma, one cochin, three golden comets, two marans, two plymouth rock, one silkie bantam, two sussex, and one wyandotte.
I had more bantams but they are really really good jumpers because they’re so small and light, they can nearly fly, and they would insist on roosting in a tree… Their steadfast refusal to come in at night ended in their demise.
Oh dear, for the banties! Silkies, sizzles and frizzles are so cuddly. Had a
coopercopper maran that was my baby, though. I really miss them all, except the mean Rhode Island bully. Enjoy your babies, they are smart and loyal.Autocorrect is so fun!
I saw someone on the German equivalent to Craigslist selling a rooster for 5€ today. Said they had three home grown roosters and that’s too many. It’s a full grown rooster. I am both surprised that this is so cheap and that it’s legal to just sell roosters like a second hand iPod.
Wait until you supplement feeding and have to worm them.
Tbh, feeding them is cheap if you supply them with table scraps. They’re basically feathered pigs.
That’s true. We had a lot of chickens a long time ago, not enough table scraps, though. We kept them penned most of the time for their protection from natural predators, including our cat.
Chickens are simple easy and cheap. Source: I own chickens and it’s not the first time
30 dozen eggs a month for ~$18 per month. (Is my current set up). Initial investment is really all, which isn’t high if you have scrap wood laying around somewhere
We had a lot of chickens at one time, they got expensive for reasons I mentioned. But we had a lot, of varying different kinds.
Stonks!
- egg companies
I’m not saying this as a joke, but I recently saw the movie Greenland and I’m confident this is all happening because he watched it.
mild spoilers
Main character is a man from his demographic. A presidential message is what’s supposed to save people. Greenland is where people go for safety. Main character cheated on his wife but it’s ok because he saved his family.
How’s the movie? It only got a 6 in imdb but I’m curious.
He saved his family, but boy did he fuck over a lot of people to get there. A lot more people could have been saved had he not been such a massive asshole throughout the movie. I’m still not sure if that was the intent on the character’s portrayal, but towards the end I was actively rooting for him to fail.
Oh if you’re talking about the plane scene I agree 100%.
Now they’re just trying to distract us from the actual dangerous shit they’re doing behind the scenes. Don’t fall for it!
“now”
Fine, I’ll say it: I’m starting to think some of these fellas might be up to no good.
