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The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Memes@lemmy.ml · 2 years ago

Mandatory bees

startrek.website

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Mandatory bees

startrek.website

The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Memes@lemmy.ml · 2 years ago
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  • FUCKRedditMods@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Maybe it’s just late, but this one-two punch of randomness and absurdity just got me good. Still giggling.

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      It’s about to be 2pm here and I’m laughing hard so it’s not just you and not just the late hour 🤣

    • OrekiWoof@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      I’ve been giggling at this since I saw this in the morning. I’m trying to fall asleep now and I’m still here

  • saltnotsugar@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    We’re a collaboration first company, and that’s why the “Bees in my desk!” policy works for us. Nothing brings us closer than the sudden release of bees at our corporate headquarters. Some of you will feel some resistance to the idea, but an anonymous poll overwhelmingly approved of it. We look forward to a sudden swarm at our next mandatory town hall meeting.

    • KoboldCoterie@pawb.social
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      2 years ago

      Important Policy Update: As part of our continued commitment to being an inclusive work environment, we’ve elected to expand our popular ‘Bees in my desk!’ policy to also include paper wasps, yellow jackets, and tarantula hawks! Please look forward to the roll-out of this new and improved policy starting on Monday!

      • gibmiser@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Judge all you want, but the paper wasps and tarantula hawks are a real improvement.

        Yellow jackets can fuck right off though.

        • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 years ago

          Yeah, you have to try to get tarantula hawks to bother you (unless you’re a tarantula), and paper wasps have a pretty small aggression radius.

      • xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        After Thursday, all employees will be required measures the amount of honey(nectar) that is gathered by their desk hive.

    • Soleil (she/her ♀)@beehaw.org
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      2 years ago

      Hwhat’s this? An overabundance of bees in the workplace? My briefcase full of bees ought to put a stop to that!

    • SamsungAppleOnePlus@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Can confirm I’m more efficient when collaborating with others when the bees are released.

    • OpenStars@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      But resistance is fu…n? :-P

    • Lurker123 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      Hey there team members!

      I hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Now that you’re back in the office, I’m sure some you are picking up on the new “buzz” around town. I bet some of you can’t even “bee-lieve” it!

      Yasss queen, using some of our pizza party budget, we’ve installed all natural honey dispensers into everybody’s desk! But remember to “beehive” yourself and not take too much, so as to not upset our flying friends (Darrell, we’re all wishing you a speedy recovery!).

      Anyway, that’s enough “droning” on from me.

      Bee seeing you! -hr

  • chillbo_baggins@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    You cannot stop her. Prepare for bees.

    • Natanael@slrpnk.net
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      2 years ago

      That Oprah meme has evolved huh

  • MartinXYZ@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    “I like my women like I like my coffee… COVERED IN BEES!”

    • Holzkohlen@feddit.de
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      2 years ago

      Does this fetish have a name? Just so I can explicitely avoid it.

      • RIPandTERROR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 years ago

        oviposition

      • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Not (to my knowledge) a fetish , just an Eddie Izzard line from the aptly named stand up special Glorious 😁

  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Why would you want to stop her? Don’t you want the bee crisis to be resolved?

  • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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    2 years ago

    Big if true

    • RQG@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Large if fa… Wait this isn’t reddit.

      • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

  • son_named_bort@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Does she have dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark bees fly out?

    • xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Smithers, release the hounds.

    • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Release the robotic Richard Simmons.

  • beteljuice@lemmy.ml
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    2 years ago

    Ugh I read “orifice” instead of “office” at first.

    • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websiteOP
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      2 years ago

      Is that a dealbreaker?

      • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.ml
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        2 years ago

        I wouldn’t wish harm on the bees, maybe bees is a product name for a vibrator though. If it’s not it should be.

  • WtfEvenIsExistence@lemmy.ca
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    2 years ago

    deleted by creator

  • LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Does she work at Applebees?

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Only if the bees are strictly proprietary and designed to stop working after a few years.

  • nul42@lemmy.ca
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    2 years ago

    Not the Bees!

  • Hatandwatch [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Mandatory bees nutz

  • CelloMike@startrek.website
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    2 years ago

    Later that very same year, on International Bring a Shit-Ton of Bees to Work Day

    https://youtube.com/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc&si=T9Ri-aaA7KWYS5a3

    • PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocksB
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      2 years ago

      Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc&

      Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

      I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.

    • BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 years ago

      I feel we have made a terrible mistake!

      https://youtu.be/hBZmQdFbVcY?si=U3z1f4hEkjl4uwJk

      • PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocksB
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        2 years ago

        Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

        https://piped.video/hBZmQdFbVcY?si=U3z1f4hEkjl4uwJk

        Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

        I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.

  • Sabre363@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    She can put bees in my office wink wink

  • dan1101@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    We have top men working on it. Top. Men.

    But yeah we probably can’t stop her.

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Are they the ones in charge of the British clothing chain?

      • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        No, but their weapon is strong against Shadow Man (kinda useless in every other situation, though.)

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